The Search for the Official Pure Steele Beverage: part 1

Elephant Shakes, Boozy Mistakes

Drinks have always been important for us here at Pure Steele Headquarters and  it seemed only natural for us to find the best beverage to pair with the production of our book. We have scoured the internet for Steele-appropriate drinks and will now provide you, our kind readers, with reviews as well as a pictorial “How To” so that you may follow along at home.

Our first mixed drink was found here by Kim and is excitingly called Elephant Shake.

You will need:

4 scoops of vanilla ice-cream

1 cup of milk

2 shots of Amarula Cream Liqueur

A blender and a tall glass. Serves one person.

Instructions:

Find a blender, realize that even though you have never used your blender, it is dirty. Clean it while cursing your former room-mate.

Curse you!

Pour 1 cup of milk into newly-cleaned blender.

Lactantia! Aren't you fancy!

Add 4 scoops of vanilla ice-cream. We used Chapman’s because it’s gluten-free and that’s a thing I’m into right now

My mom has Coeliac disease--it's no laughing matter!

Add 2 shots of Amarula.

Woah, check out all that product placement!

Blend until desired consistency and serve!

Blending!

Here’s where we went wrong:

Kim decided to double the recipe to accommodate both of us. Seems simple enough, right? 8 scoops of ice-cream, 2 cups of milk and 4 shots. How hard is that? Turns out Kim, employing her memory rather than the actual recipe, only doubled the number of shots. Eagle-eyed readers may also have noticed the unusual size of the Las Vegas shot-glass she used: this is because it is actually a double-shot, something of which we were completely unaware but which meant that we both downed 4 shots of Amarula each in a 15-minute period. We experienced time-loss, slurred speech and hot flashes. The following is a text that Kim sent me later that day, after we parted ways on the street: “Ari I just forgot to cross at a light. I just stood there.”

No matter!

The Final, Extremely Boozy Product

Verdict:

Ariadne: It is more of dessert beverage and I don’t know how much vanilla ice-cream Steele would have access to in Darkest Africa. That being said, it was sugary and wonderful. Turns out I love Amarula!

Kim: This is a fantastic, grown-up milkshake that serves as a bonus dessert if consumed between meals. Like Ari, I cannot imagine that Steele himself would enjoy or even have the chance to enjoy such a drink, but it was a pretty great afternoon treat. Plus, even a hard-drinking adventurer could at least respect the resolve and fortitude with which we downed our mathematical failure.

4 pith helmets out of 5

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